Back in the Saddle Again

I admit, even as excited as I have been about embarking on this new course (although not entirely new; looking back, the rest of my life was really leading up to this), I was still feeling a bit tentative about being back in a classroom, after that horrible hellish nightmare that was Emmanuel "Christian" School.  I needn't have felt gun shy; today was a wonderful beginning.

The bus arrived for teachers at 6:40, just as it will every day from here on.  Having gotten only four hours of sleep last night, I was a bit sleepy, but my nerves and excitement perked up my tired eyes.  One of the great things about living in community the way that we do is traveling to and from school together.  There are always friends to talk to, which greatly relieves a nervous mind.  When we got to school, we all scurried to our classrooms to get those remaining final details taken care of.  I was relieved to find that my last two posters for my main bulletin board had at some point printed out after I left yesterday (yesterday was a "bad China day" -- three hours of computer problems, upset stomach at lunch, a walk in the humidity that got much longer than planned after I got lost, heat exhaustion that caused me to almost faint, and a twisted knee).  I was able to get the thirteen-foot bulletin finished to my satisfaction.  I hate to brag, but it really is quite a cool board!  I entitled it "Coming Attractions"and then created movie posters about various topics that I'll be covering in my classes this year.

The students arrived at 8:00, fresh-faced and eager . . . yes, actually eager.  They wanted to be there!  High-schoolers who actually look forward to the start of the school-year!  It's another world here, I tell you.  We got them (just the high-schoolers -- the other grades had their own activities) arranged by grades in the auditorium, then did an orientation assembly, complete with firm reminders about dress code.  Nitta, our awesome high school principal, cheerfully informed the students that she has "beautiful" long skirts for girls who wear too short of shorts or skirts, and labcoats for those whose shirts are out of dress code. Additionally, she promised to acquire some "really attractive" shirts for any girls who come in wearing immodest tops.  We actually don't have as strict of a dress code as one might expect.  Kids are allowed to wear shorts (of an appropriate length) and jeans, and sneakers are perfectly all right.  No holes, no flip-flops, nothing immodest (low cut, too tight, or too short), no tank tops, no track suits or athletic wear, and all shirts must have a collar.  In other words, a perfectly reasonable dress code.

After the assembly, we dismissed the kids to their homerooms.  True to their word, my fellow teachers really did put together a fantastic homeroom class for me.  My ninth graders are a cheerful, obedient bunch, all with fun personalities.  There's not a bad egg in the bunch!  All but two of the kids are Asian, and I've got ten boys and five girls.  I had the kids introduce themselves, each telling their name, how long they've been in China, and the thing that they are most looking forward to this year.  Although all but two of my kids are not native English speakers, I was quite pleased with how well they speak.  Of course, there's a bit of that Korean knack for extra syllables, but overall, they pronounce words well and have good vocabularies.  After introductions, I informed the class that the best way to bond with new classmates is some good clean murder.  They blinked in surprise, then laughed when I explained that we were going to play Mafia (it's a really fun and easy game that goes over quite well with kids).  Unlike when I taught in the US, I only had to give directions once.  What a difference THAT makes!

After a fun game of Mafia, I did two more academic games, both of which the kids loved.  In the first game, a great one for English language-learners (without being dull for native speakers), I broke them up into three teams of five and put them in three columns.  The kids in the front row each got a whiteboard and marker.  I gave them a word, and they had to race to write a synonym.  The first one to hold up their board (with a correct answer) earned a point for their team.  They then passed the boards to the next players on their teams, and we went on from there.  After a few rounds, I made the game more interesting by requesting antonyms sometimes.  I was thrilled to see some really creative answers, rather than just simple short words.  For my second academic game, which the kids liked even better, I would say the name of a place, and then the players would scramble to write the name of a place starting with the last letter of the one that I gave.  I had another thrill of delight when I discovered how good these kids are at geography.  One boy further gladdened me by asking if they could use ancient place names.

At 10:00, we gave the students a snack and bathroom break, then sent juniors and seniors outside and freshmen and sophomores to the gym for games.  With the freshies and sophs, we played a really fun icebreaker game (to the joy of the students, teachers joined in, too):  We had one less seat than people, arranged in a circle; the person without a seat had to go to the middle and call out something, like "People who have long hair" or "People who like to eat kimchi" and then everyone that the statement applied to had to get up and rush to another seat.  Naturally, we all got hot and sweaty!  I was fanning myself with my hand when one of my ninth graders noticed; that sweet girl immediately started fanning me!  The game was hilarious to participate in and to watch.  I thought it was particularly clever when one girl called out "People who have lived in Africa", which only applied to our South African teacher, thus positively guaranteeing the girl a seat!  We sent the kids home at 11:30, and congratulated ourselves on a great first day.

Tomorrow, classes begin.  We will be doing block scheduling this year:  Four classes per day, in one and a half hour blocks.  'A' classes meet on Mondays and Wednesdays; 'B' classes meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  On Fridays, all classes meet for just 35 minutes each and we have an assembly.  This week, since we only have two days for classes, we're doing Friday's schedule on both days.  I can't wait to meet the rest of my kids!

Graduated!

On May 14, 2011, I graduated with my MA in history and a medal for High Distinction (4.0 GPA).  Our speaker, who gave the best graduation speech I have ever listened to, was Hollywood screenwriter/director Randall Wallace.

Rachel and I.  We're sleep-deprived and grateful to be DONE!

The ladies of Lantern Hollow Press, minus Kami.

All nine of the history department's new MAs.

The most fantastic graduation cake ever, courtesy of Rachel's sister Emily.  She made it in the shape of an antique book! And it was a chocolate mocha cake!  She knows us well.

The Defending of the Thesis

In case you were wondering, I defended my thesis on May 2, and passed!  Plenty of things went wrong, since this was, after all, me defending.  I had only gotten two hours of sleep, I was dopey from benedryl (my spring/summer allergies have been HORRIBLE), and I forgot my adapter for the presentation and had to use someone else's laptop, which meant that my slideshow animations didn't work on the inferior PowerPoint (Keynote is SO MUCH better) and a few of my slides got warped or deleted.

Because my topic has not been written on (at least, not published about), I was commended for a thesis that discussed an exciting, unknown topic in the field of WWII espionage history.  My committee members all enjoyed reading it, and they said that it was excellent work.  So, I guess the nervous breakdowns and sleepless nights were all worth it!

I Gave Birth to a Thesis!

So many people that I know are getting married or having babies lately.  I just had a thesis.

Aw, isn't he cute?  He has my eyes.

Mere minutes ago, I turned in the three copies of my 97-page baby to their new foster parents (my thesis committee).  Having pulled another all-nighter in order to accomplish this feat, I now want to flop over in a dead heap.  But, no such luck.  There's work and then travel (I'm off to Atlanta tonight).  Oh well; there'll be time enough to sleep when I'm dead!

Only five more days until I defend (shudder)!

Did I Really Just Write That?

I'm in a state of shock at the moment.  As of 10:00 am today, the horrible, monstrous, insidious, ill-formed offspring of my feeble mind, also known as my thesis, which has plagued me like a host of ten thousand camels tap-dancing on my shoulders in combat boots, is finally written.  I actually wrote a thesis.  I contributed something original, something on a topic which has not been covered, to the field of history.  Forgive me while I faint.

Okay, had to get that out of my system - the faint, not the shock.  No, I'm still in shock.  I honestly never thought I'd be able to do it.  I mean, have you ever considered what actually goes into writing a thesis?  It is no ordinary paper.  No reading a few books and then jotting down what you learned.  For my thesis, I read 62 books, countless journal articles, more than 1,000 pages worth of US foreign affairs cables, more than 2,000 pages of declassified OSS documents, several US presidential executive orders, and a couple dozen newspaper articles.  Oh, and I did that this semester . . . the same semester that I wrote the thesis.  That would be why I am just now finishing the creature.

It's an odd sort of feeling, looking at the stack of pages that I created.  I'm not sure yet whether to tenderly regard it as my beloved child or as a grotesquely mutilated fetus that somehow survived to make it out of the womb.  I suppose I shall have to reserve judgment until my committee has reviewed the creature.

Getting My Kicks before 26!

I don't know what it is about the number 26 (and really, it IS just a number), but for some reason, it's affecting me considerably more than 25 (and believe me, THAT one hit pretty hard). I guess it's the ever-closer proximity of 30, or perhaps the lengthy list I things I HAVEN'T done that other people seem to think I SHOULD HAVE done by this point. Of course, in my favor there is the list of things I HAVE done that other people HAVEN'T done by this age, so in reality it all probably balances out.

Nevertheless, despite all the clever adages, the reassurances from friends who've already been here (and beyond), and the general optimism I have about my future (which defies logic at times), I am profoundly affected by this encroaching number. Try as I might, I can't shake the emotional/psychological response. It's not an issue of vanity - my first white hairs started cropping up last year, and honestly, although I fuss about them as I yank them out of my scalp (there are only three, so this is much less painful than it sounds), I'm okay with looking older. In the mornings, I can see where the wrinkles are going to set up permanent residence before too long, and even with that, I'm okay. I don't always rejoice in it, but I do accept it. The physical consequences of getting older are just fine by me. It's the psychological ones that have been nagging at me.

Everyone seems to have their own mental "laundry list" of what it means to be a successful individual by my age. Though well-intentioned, the gentle (and not-so-gentle) hints of "you're not getting any younger" and "what are you waiting for?" (among others) have the same effect as a branding iron applied directly to the back of my neck. While it would great to have a stable career or a happy marriage by now, and while I do love children, none of these are required for success. Let me rephrase that. For some people, those are the marks of success in life. For others, like me, there are other things that come first.

I'm not going to give a self-appreciating list of my many accomplishments. I know them, God helped me attain them, and that's enough. I'm not sitting on my haunches, feasting greedily on the efforts of others - I'm actively pursuing something, and I'm working HARD. No career, no marriage, no kids, but by golly, I am still successful. I'm where God wants me, I'm doing what He wants me to do, and I'm loving it - brother, that right there is success. Gleaming, golden success. It may not get much glory for me yet, but it's enough that I should be entering 26 with my head held high.

Despite all that, 26 is still a mountain to be conquered. It still intimidates. It still makes me sit up, eyes wide, and say aloud "Am I really getting that old that quickly?!" To those who have already scaled this particular height, my consternation and mental whiplash must seem a bit silly. Compared to 40, 50, 60, and beyond, 26 is still a relative infant. To someone staring it in the face, however, it's a little daunting. Where did all the time go?

One of my dearest friends is also approaching this particular summit, and is also grappling with the angst and the psychological side effects. Together, we have agreed to tackle 26 with grace and attitudes befitting the plucky, sassy dames that we are. In that spirit, we have both committed to a list of 26 things to get done before 26 smacks us in the face and takes over from where 25 left off. Maybe then we can turn the tables and be the ones smacking 26 in the face! Several items are the same for us, while some are unique to our own needs and desires. For fun, I've opted to share my list. Some of it is frivolous, geared toward greeting 26 with an attitude of humor and merriment. The rest is more serious, in order to meet 26 with maturity and self-improvement. At any rate, I'm certainly going to "get my kicks before 26!"

(NOTE: Items are listed in no particular order, since I have decided not to add any weight of importance. I'd rather just do them all, and not worry about which things carry more significance.)

1. Find something I've never tried at Starbucks and try it, but with creative alterations.
2. Find a truly odd nail color and paint my toenails with it.
3. Attempt to locate aviator sunglasses that don't make me look like an evil bug from Hades.
4. Buy and try something new from the foreign food section at the grocery store.
5. Celebrate my birthday in a way that I have never celebrated any other birthday.
6. Get a toe ring.
7. Spend more time basking in the outdoors; take some downtime from stress.
8. Create something artsy to wear on "that fateful day." (most likely jewelry)
9. Add something reminiscent of childhood to my wardrobe (i.e. jelly sandals, a flowered hair accessory, a plastic headband).
10. Make a conscientious effort to listen a whole lot more.
11. Have an old movie marathon with the theme of "Suave Leading Men that I Would Love to Bring Back from the Dead and Marry." (obviously, Cary Grant will be well-represented during this upcoming film marathon)
12. Experiment with scallops.
13. Live backwards for one day (meals, general activities, etc.).
14. Do a completely spontaneous act of random kindness for a friend.
15. Do something to my hair that involves temporary color (and no, it is not going to wind up burgundy again - that much is resolved!).
16. Re-read the three most influential novels in my life: Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, and The Perilous Gard.
17. Memorize Psalm 73:21-26. Try to live with it in mind more often.
18. Finish one of the short stories that I have started writing and then abandoned.
19. Make a list of good things from age 25 and tack it up on my bulletin board. Read it often.
20. Find three new ways to cook asparagus (it's my favorite vegetable, but I'm in a rut).
21. Improve my time management skills.
22. Explore a place in Virginia that I have never explored.
23. Research a topic that I know absolutely nothing about, just for the fun of being better-informed.
24. Go for two whole days without reading the news.
25. Finish one of the projects that I have started and left dangling.
26. Take Jasper hiking

2000 vs. 2010

This is a survey that I wrote for Facebook, but I thought I would post it here as well. I had the idea the other day that it would be interesting to see the differences a decade makes. Several of my friends have now taken my survey, and the results are both enlightening and optimistic. Despite the current economic situation in our country, everyone who took this survey felt much more confident and hopeful in 2010 than they did in 2000, and each person has clearly changed for the better in those ten years. Those of you who follow my blog might want to take this survey on your own, just to see what changes have happened in your life in ten years' time.

2000 VS. 2010 SURVEY

Rules: You're supposed to answer each question twice. The first answer is what you would have answered in 2000, the other is how you are now answering in 2010. You are supposed to give careful thought to each answer. The point is to see how you have changed or stayed the same in ten years' time. The first few questions are the deep, difficult ones; the rest are more light-hearted.

FIRST, THE SERIOUS QUESTIONS:

1. What challenges are you facing this year?
--(2000) I was a new Christian, struggling to put the ghosts of my past behind me and manage to live a normal life. I was terrified of messing up, and embarrassed by my looks. The hardest thing, sometimes, was just getting up in the morning.
--(2010) The year has only just begun, but it has had its share of challenges already. I've moved again, started over again, and am preparing to remount the grad school "bicycle," even though I fell off the first time around. I'm working hard to get into the right shape for the army, as I will be doing ROTC on top of grad school. I'm also trying to follow a stringent new sugar-free eating plan in order to finally get the blood sugar and migraines under control (which, by the way, is working really well). So far, it's all surmountable. Not easy, but not horrible - I'm actually feeling quite good about this year.

2. What is your biggest fear?
--(2000) Failing my parents again. Actually, I had a lot of fears back then.
--(2010) I hate to admit it, but my biggest fear right now is honestly my fear that the other students in my program will all be smarter than me.

3. What are you most grateful for?
--(2000) God's gift of salvation.
--(2010) God's gift of salvation.

4. What is your biggest goal this year?
--(2000) I think my biggest goal was to get an A in English. I also wanted to lose weight.
--(2010) I want to pull straight A's and score above 60% on all of the physical tests for ROTC.

5. What will be the biggest life change for you this year?
--(2000) I think that was the year I got my wisdom teeth out, which was rather traumatic.
--(2010) I'd say joining the army is about the biggest life change I'll have this year! :0)

6. What is your favorite Bible verse?
--(2000) Proverbs 3:5-6
--(2010) Matthew 5:16 and Luke 5:13

7. Besides your parents, who do you most admire?
--(2000) Lucille Ball, Sarah Edmonds (Civil War nurse and spy), and Franklin Roosevelt
--(2010) Virginia Hall (WWII SOE and OSS agent), Deborah (from the Bible), and Sarah Edmonds

8. What do you most want to accomplish in your life?
--(2000) I wanted to be an author, wife, and mother.
--(2010) I want to be an officer in the US army, have children someday, and be a historian in one form or another.

9. Where do you see yourself in five years?
--(2000) Going to college at Evangel Christian University, majoring in English.
--(2010) An army officer with an MA in history, possibly stationed in Germany or Egypt.

10. What is your career or current job?
--(2000) High school student (sophomore, then junior) and babysitter.
--(2010) Graduate student


NEXT, THE FUN QUESTIONS:

11. Who is your favorite actor? Favorite actress?
--(2000) My favorite actors were Desi Arnaz and Van Johnson. My favorite actresses were Lucille Ball, Ginger Rogers, and Doris Day.
--(2010) My favorite actor is Cary Grant and my favorite actresses are Olivia de Havilland and Irene Dunne.

12. What is your favorite color?
--(2000) Blue
--(2010) Yellow

13. What pets do you have?
--(2000) A lovebird named Chance, and three cockateils in succession: first Christy, then Poppy, then Oliver. I also occasionally had fish, the only one of which I can remember is Dmitri, who committed suicide later in the year (amusing story).
--(2010) A shih tzu named Jasper.

14. Who is your favorite author?
--(2000) Agatha Christie
--(2010) Jane Austin and Dorothy Sayers

15. What is your favorite TV show?
--(2000) I Love Lucy
--(2010) NCIS and Frasier

16. What type of car do you drive?
--(2000) I didn't own a car yet, but occasionally my dad forced me to drive his car (I was TERRIFIED of driving).
--(2010) I have a yellow Chevrolet Aveo5.

17. What is your favorite type of cuisine?
--(2000) Italian
--(2010) Thai and Korean

18. Do you keep a journal or diary?
--(2000) I kept a journal.
--(2010) I keep a journal and have a blog.

19. Who is your favorite singer or group?
--(2000) Avalon
--(2010) Idina Menzel and Jo Stafford

20. What is your favorite salad dressing?
--(2000) Thousand Island
--(2010) Raspberry vinaigrette, but I can't have it anymore because of the sugar.

21. What is your favorite season?
--(2000) Summer
--(2010) Autumn

22. What is your favorite holiday?
--(2000) Christmas
--(2010) Christmas

23. Name one exciting thing that you hope will happen this year.
--(2000) I had high hopes of getting asked out on a date by a boy I liked. Sadly (at the time), he barely knew of my existence.
--(2010) I'd really be excited to get an assistantship in the fall.

24. How often are you on the internet?
--(2000) My dad took away the internet because I went in a chatroom once (I was not allowed to go into them).
--(2010) I am on way too much, but I do use it for research frequently, so I guess that part is justified.

25. How often do you drink coffee? How do you take your coffee?
--(2000) I almost never drank it, but when I did, I liked it black with tons of sugar. I preferred cappuccino, actually.
--(2010) I love a good mocha with an extra shot, but I can't have them anymore because of the sugar. Instead, I have one very large cup of coffee each morning. I put in a little bit of my low-sugar International Delight creamer and two sweet n low packets.

26. What do you like on your pizza?
--(2000) Pepperoni
--(2010) I have yet to find a pizza recipe that I can eat with my new dietary restrictions. If I could eat it, I'd like it with chicken, shrimp, sweet potato, olives, tomato, corn, and bell peppers. I hate pepperoni!

27. What is your favorite sport?
--(2000) I despised sports.
--(2010) Volleyball

28. Where are you living?
--(2000) Kalamazoo, MI
--(2010) Lynchburg, VA

29. Where would you most like to take a vacation?
--(2000) Australia
--(2010) Morocco

30. How do you spend most of your time?
--(2000) Writing poetry
--(2010) Doing graduate reading and research

31. Who do you spend most of your time with?
--(2000) Duper and my parents
--(2010) Jasper, but only because classes haven't started yet and I don't know very many people here.

32. What is your favorite type of animal?
--(2000) Crocodiles
--(2010) Adele penguins and red pandas

Church Hunting: Attempt #1

Going to church alone, like going to restaurants, movies, or amusement parks alone, takes a fair amount of courage. To some people, it is akin to having the word "LOSER" tattooed across one's forehead. To me, it is normal, but is still like being whacked over the head repeatedly with a reminder that I am single and don't know anyone in town yet. In other words, it's not something that I enjoy. But, I do need to be spiritually fed, and I know that my responsibility to go to church is in no way lessoned by my being alone. If anything, I am in greater need of a good church right now, since it will not only continue my spiritual growth, but will also help facilitate meeting people and making a new life for myself here in Lynchburg.

Last night, just before going to bed, I searched online for a church to try today. Sadly, there are no Reformed Baptist churches in the area. I had expected that that may be the case, since my denominational preference is not a common one here in the South. When I lived in Manassas, I went to an Evangelical Free church (that is, after I decided I was through letting my despot of an employer force me to go to a church that I hated). I really enjoyed that church, so I thought I would see if there were an Evangelical Free church here. I don't agree with 100% of their doctrines, but it is rare to find that at any church, and minor disagreements are no fit reason to discard a particular church or denomination. I found an Evangelical Free church online that was close to my home, and thought it might be a good one for today.

When I work up this morning, however, I changed my mind. I did not sleep well and had a headache, so I decided to try a church with a later morning service so that I could try to sleep off the headache (sometimes that works). Thus, when I got up finally, I did another quick search online and found a nearby Baptist church that looked promising.

The church was nice, but quite large. I have had a few bad experiences at large churches in the past, so I usually tend to avoid them. In my opinion, once a church reaches too large of a size, they stop serving their full purpose. I don't think that churches were meant to be just a place to hear a message on Sundays. I believe that God intended for the church to serve as a larger form of the family - a place where Christians know each other well enough to let down their defenses and be real with each other, and where each individual has their own niche. In a large church, that's next to impossible, and people become just numbers rather than individuals. The church, in that case, is just an institution rather than a warm familial environment that fosters true inner growth. So, the size was a deterrent, but I decided to give the church a chance anyway, since I was already there, and since I had a headache and didn't want to have too far to drive after the service.

The message was pretty good, and was applicable to me personally. I liked the pastor, and I liked the fact that worship consisted mainly of hymns. It's not that I hate modern music or anything like that; I just find that most contemporary worship seems to be little more than simple repeated choruses with little meaning behind the words, and lots of drums. Drums are great, but they cannot take the place of meaningful lyrics. There are, of course, several very stupid hymns that I can find absolutely no meaning in, but for the most part, hymns tend to be more reflective, worshipful, and even comforting than most modern worship music (and again, yes, there are exceptions). So, despite the size, the church definitely had its good points.

The thing that made me decide to keep looking, however, was the congregation. They were a pleasant enough crowd of cheerful, sincere-looking people, but there was one very obvious problem for me. I was, without a doubt, one of the youngest people in that building...by about forty years. Now I do enjoy the elderly, but when it comes to church, I really want to find a place with at least a few people my own age that I can make friends with. Also, I would like to find a place with a youth or children's group that I could occasionally help out with.

Fortunately for me, I'm now living well within the Bible Belt, so there is no shortage of churches for me to try next Sunday (maybe even the one I had originally planned to try today). I'm hoping it doesn't take too long to find a new home church, but as long as I keep getting good sermons like the one today, the "church hunt" shouldn't be too unpleasant for me. I know that Liberty has a good church on its campus (Thomas Road Baptist Church), which I attended before when I was in college, but I would prefer not to go there now. Again, it's a matter of the church's size - Thomas Road Baptist is overwhelmingly HUGE. If worse comes to worse, I can always give it another try, but I really, really dislike being in a church so large that it feels more like a stadium. So, if you're among my Christian readers, please pray that I can find a good church soon. And now, it's time for me to go lie down and attempt to get rid of this nasty headache before it becomes my first migraine of 2010.

Have a refreshing Sunday, everyone!

Change in Departure

The Midwest has some rather nasty weather headed for it, so I've decided that that, coupled with my dislike of crossing the Appalachians after dark, is sufficient reason to alter my departure plans. I had originally planned to leave on Monday and drive straight through. Based on the weather, I have decided that it will be much wiser and safer to leave tomorrow, drive halfway (or more) and then finish up the driving on Monday. The Appalachians will be slippery, so I think hitting them in the morning would be much better than hitting them in the evening. Also, this gives me the advantage of getting in early enough to pick up more than just "immediate survival" groceries when I get in on Monday.

Michigan is one of those states that is usually quite easy to leave. While the state does have its charms, on the whole, it's become a dismal, depressing place. The gray, soulless skies of winter, the frigid temperatures, and the fatally wounded economy have braided themselves together to create an environment of depression and resignation. The snow can be lovely, but the slush negates a great deal of the beauty. I know that I have personally found it a poor place to recuperate from the mental anguish wrought by events in Manassas. Lynchburg, Virginia, on the other hand, can sometimes be every bit as cold, but is usually milder, and is nearly always sunny with blue skies. Believe me, sunshine and blue skies make nearly every situation seem more hopeful. In addition, the multiple layers of mountains in varying shades of blue are calming and comforting, bringing a feeling of internal peace when viewed.

Michigan certainly has its glory days of beauty in the spring, summer, and fall, but winter in Michigan is like being sucked into a black hole of seemingly endless melancholy. I've often noted how nearly everyone becomes shorter tempered during the winter months, and present jobless economy is doing nothing to help all that. It's hard watching the state you grew up in shrivel up and die, but unless an economic miracle happens, that looks to be the continuing pattern here. It will be very good to get away.

Three Dogs + Two Cars + Snow and Ice = Today!

The trip back down to Manassas today was anything but dull. Because my sister is a bit too overwhelmed at present to take on an extra three dogs, my parents decided that the little creatures had to travel with us (not my parents' brightest idea). Dad and my brother-in-law John hit the road at 4:00 this morning, while Mom and I chose to wait until 7:00. And, the Midwest being what it is, we naturally were accompanied by some rather wet snow. The day showed immediate promise of being interesting, to say the least.

Around Marshall, Michigan, I unexpectedly hit a patch of ice on the road, and nearly lost control of my car. With my heart settling into a new residence in my left ear, I spent the next forty minutes or so dodging icy patches and clinging desperately to the wheel of my car. I'm actually pretty skilled at winter driving, having grown up in Michigan, but I don't think any amount of experience can take the fear and tension out of driving on ice. To lighten the mood, Mom and I played Christmas CDs. The three dogs, meanwhile, were determined to be anything but ideal passengers. Although I had spread their three beds into a pleasing array in the back seat, Mitzi and Abby were determined that their proper place was on a lap up front, and thus had to be continually scolded and placed back in their appropriate location. Jasper, as usual, was the second cousin to an angel (he tried to come up front a few times, then gave up and went to sleep).

Shortly after Mom and I reached Ohio, John called to warn us of worse things ahead, and to inform us that he and my father had hit ice at seventy MPH and had had an accident. Fortunately (praise God), they were both unhurt, and miraculously (again, praise God), although the car had hit the road divider with great force and speed, it sustained no damage (aside from a few scratches, that is). While we were quite relieved to hear that they and the car had been spared, Mom and I became quite nervous about what experiences awaited us.

Although Dad and John continued to struggle through icy and/or slushy roads and passed accident after accident, Mom and I met with mostly clear roads and only passed two accidents. The weather was ugly and menacing, and the wind roared with homicidal intentions, but my little yellow Aveo5 did just fine, hugging the road as if it were a bosom companion. I have to say, once again, that I am very impressed with this car! Of course, it also helped that Mom and I were hitting areas later than Dad and John, and the salt trucks had had time to work their magic.

While the car behaved beautifully, the dogs continued to test us. About halfway down, realizing how little space was available in the backseat, I pulled off at a rest area and folded my back seats up, then rearranged things so that the dogs had a large, comfortable space to themselves. Did they appreciate it? Of course not! The little demons devoted themselves to leaping the barrier (the folded-up seats) in order to reach the front passenger seat, at which they were scolded and tossed back, which then energized them to try harder the next time. In accompaniment to the lovely Christmas music, the dejected pooches whimpered and whined in a frequent, maddening chorus. I made a mental note never to have triplets.

Mom and I eventually sauntered into Manassas at a little after seven this evening to discover that Dad and John had diligently completed most of the loading of my belongings into the moving van. Mitzi and Abby immediately christened the carpet with urine and feces, much to my dismay. Dad and John finished loading the truck, minimally assisted by Mom and I (there honestly was very little left to do, plus they were the ones with the dolly). After a tasty dinner of Thanksgiving leftovers brought from home (sadly, there was nothing left of Aunt Diane's delectable broccoli casserole, which would have been marvelous after such a journey), I rounded off my meal by trying to finish some of the ice cream left in my freezer. Since my entire kitchen is already packed, this proved amusing. Has anyone else ever tried chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream served on a paper plate and eaten with a fork, using a laundry hamper as a makeshift table? I heartily recommend it, sheerly for the laughter it induces.

And now that Mitzi and Abby have finally ceased their indignant protests over being put to bed early (Jasper, as always, was a perfect dear about bedtime, since he sleeps in the same room as I do), I am going to put this blog to bed and try to rest up for the move tomorrow. The Manassas chapter of my life is written and finished, the villains will punish themselves with their own stupidity and general ineptness, and our heroine, Stephanie, is now ready for "Liberty University II: The Graduate Years". Stay tuned!

Wearying Weekend

Dad and I drove down to Manassas over the weekend to get all my things packed up and ready to move in December. Since my body chose that excellent timing to give in to illness, it was a thoroughly exhausting experience. Still, on the bright side, now everything is packed and ready to go, so my moving day should go pretty smoothly. We're renting a truck this time, so there are no space concerns, and I will have the help of not only Dad, but also Mom and my brother-in-law John.

I know this is completely silly, but I can't help but feel nervous about John helping me move. You see, the last time he helped me move, he wound up sick and in the hospital, where he learned that he had lymphoma. It was one of the scariest times of my life, watching someone I love so much fight for his life, and I have been plagued by guilt ever since, as he had to go into that battle completely exhausted and sore from helping me. I know that I didn't give him the cancer, but for some reason I still feel guilty somehow. John, in his generous way, pointed out that my moving actually caused him to discover the cancer and may have saved his life, but still I have a touch of lingering guilt over that whole episode. So, even though I know it is ridiculous, I find myself a little nervous about letting him help me this time - especially since this situation does bear a few similarities to that one.

That time, I was leaving Wilmington, North Carolina, following a hellish semester of grad school in which a violently non-christian professor treated me horribly (and my classmates, too, but he singled me out particularly) just because he knew that I am a devout Christian. He regularly tried to make me look foolish for my beliefs in class, and behaved in an abominable way towards everyone with his frequent bouts of temper (one time he threw a rather large dictionary at us while screaming obscenities). This time around, I am leaving a situation that is also one of persecution, but sadly, this time it came from those claiming to be Christian. I am certainly having my Wilmington flash-backs, but this time it hurts a little more, since those causing the pain are supposed to be my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Sometimes, when I see or experience situations like this, I find myself asking, why on earth does God put up with us? I mean, how can One so perfect as Him stand to be around such utter ugliness and filth as the way people behave? How can He stomach them stamping His name on their behavior as an excuse for it? I know He has a plan, and I know He will use this all for good, but I sometimes find myself asking how. In my feeble human mind, it is impossible to comprehend how things like this can ever benefit anyone. I am glad to know that someday in the future (how long into the future, I can't say), I will be able to look back and see how God meant this whole horrid situation for good. After all, Joseph must have felt pretty forsaken in Pharaoh's prison, but that experience eventually saved millions of lives from famine and led Joseph to wealth and prosperity. Yes, it then led to slavery for his descendants, but that later was used to remind them of God's grace when He rescued them from that situation. So, even though right now this looks pretty bleak, dreadful, and even pointless, I know that somehow it is going to serve a greater purpose.

I am continuing to pray for the other new teachers who are still caught up in that cesspool of unhappiness and deceit masquerading as a Christian ministry, and I hope that my readers will do the same. Please pray that they can all find new, better jobs soon, and that they will be able to persevere blamelessly until then. Please pray that they will not grow bitter, but will be strengthened each day and able to meet every challenge with a good attitude. Pray that the students will not be hurt, and that their parents will awaken to what is going on and step in. Pray that God will either raise up better leadership or will dramatically change the hearts of the current leadership there. Please do not pray for revenge and retribution, or for anything bad to happen to those who have hurt me and who are hurting others. I do not want revenge, as tempting as it was at first - I want to see the situation turned around, if possible, and those kids given the education, care, love, and Christian guidance that they need and deserve. I do not want to see ugliness returned for ugliness. Those who know me, know my heart, and know that I would never seek to hurt anyone - even if others may feel that they deserve it. Please pray for me, too - I am trying to find my way in life without giving in to discouragement, and believe me, discouragement is very tempting at the moment (I still lack both a job and a roommate, which is very worrisome since I will be moving back to Lynchburg in just one month).


"To God be the glory, great things He has done;
So loved He the world that He gave us His Son,
Who yielded His life an atonement for sin,
And opened the life gate that all may go in.

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the earth hear His voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the people rejoice!
O come to the Father, through Jesus the Son,
And give Him the glory, great things He has done.

O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,
To every believer the promise of God;
The vilest offender who truly believes,
That moment from Jesus a pardon receives.

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the earth hear His voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the people rejoice!
O come to the Father, through Jesus the Son,
And give Him the glory, great things He has done.

Great things He has taught us, great things He has done,
And great our rejoicing through Jesus the Son;
But purer, and higher, and greater will be
Our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see."

~Fanny Crosby (1875)

Getting By....Somehow

The good news is, I have a job interview with Liberty tomorrow, which could fix everything. It's a full-time position that would provide benefits and would pay for my tuition as a grad student. It may not be my dream position, but it would certainly solve my present troubles, and I would love to work for Liberty, since that institution has treated me very well in the past.

I am still emotionally reeling from the situation I lived through in Manassas. I have dreams about the school at night, and I keep replaying that "meeting" over and over in my mind. I wonder how much longer my mind will stray to thoughts of that horrid place. I guess the reason that it stays with me so is the utter betrayal that surrounds it all. Betrayal is a hard thing for me to come to grips with, I have realized.

I am driving back to Manassas on Friday to spend a few days getting a head start on the packing. Then I'll be coming back up to Michigan, where I will likely remain until the first week of December. I hate having to infringe on my parents yet again, but thanks to certain individuals, I cannot afford groceries anymore (since I am now without a paycheck for two months longer than planned). It's okay, though. I am no longer experiencing daily migraines, I don't have people spying on me anymore, and I never again have to feel that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach from driving into the parking lot of that school. I don't have to have my Sundays ruined by being forced to attend their church (attending there was like going into a restaurant longing for steak and having to settle for lukewarm milk). I have my life, my mind, and my soul intact. I can sleep peacefully at night.

Oh, by the way, I think the gloves can come off now. Previously I never referred to the school by name in my blog, knowing that most workplaces would consider that to be improper. I kept my frustration and my dismay to myself, resisting the tempting and comforting outlet of my blog. During the "scary time" when I lived in daily fear of losing my job, I was especially cautious. Now, however, I have no worries from that place. If you're wondering what school to avoid in Manassas, Virginia, the full name of the school is Emmanuel Christian School. Of course, I think it's a little more accurate to write the name this way: Emmanuel "Christian" School. There, I've done it. I took my one and only swing back, and I feel a tiny surge of pleasure. Considering what that place did to the former headmaster and is continuing to do to the excellent teachers that he hired, I think it is not at all petty to, just this once, refer to them by name. With that one strike back, I shall return to my non-fighting stance and move on with my life. ECS has done their worst, and I am free from it all.

Once again, I find myself missing Korea.

Free at Last...But a Little Stunned

On Thursday, the school's "leadership" rose up to my low expectations of them and fired me. I had a feeling (call it prophecy) that they might pull a stunt like that, so I was not completely unprepared - I had already taken most of my things home from my classroom, although I had not prepared for the emotional impact. Right now I feel blindsided, numb, and exhausted.

I left school as quickly as I could after the "meeting" with the two headmasters, packed up a bunch of my things from the apartment, and then on Friday drove to Lynchburg to sign the new lease, then back to Michigan. Whew! I got in at 4:30 in the morning, and went straight to bed. Today, I am completely wiped out, both physically and emotionally. I expect a great surge of emotion to wallop me on Monday, but for now I'm still varying between feeling absolutely nothing and experiencing short-lived bursts of emotion.

A few words about that "meeting" on Thursday:
Right after school, in his usual domineering fashion, one of the headmasters informed me that he wanted to see me. As soon as he and his stooge (the other headmaster) closed the door of the office, I knew what was going to happen. They, naturally, were furious at what I had written in my letter of resignation (I told the truth, which seems to be something they despise at that school). Those two grown men yelled at me and behaved in their usual threatening, unprofessional manner. They had clearly been watching and waiting until they could gather a good flimsy reason for letting me go, and I could see it all clearly as they did their worst.

Normally, a confrontation like that with authority would have reduced me to immediate violent tears (especially since I have never before been in a situation like that). This time, however, something happened within me. As the two men railed on, my mind awoke to a few realizations:

1. These two men, with their yelling and their pompous self-righteousness, were making themselves look too foolish to be taken seriously. No longer could I see them as figures of authority worthy of respect; they had now removed the veil of respectably and metamorphosed themselves into their true natures: twin paradigms of idiocy and amateurish management. Thus, I was no longer capable of fearing them.
2. No amount of groveling on my part could have save me; nor would I have wanted it to. I was clearly in the right, and thus there was no reason to apologize for being correct.
3. None of this was my fault. I had been looking for possible ways to blame myself for the situation I found myself in, but honestly, I had behaved in an upright, ethical manner through all of it. There was nothing that I could or should have done differently. Although normally it "takes two to tango," in this instance, all of the blame rests on the incompetent shoulders of two absurd men.

So, I made no attempt to fight against what was happening. I accepted the early dismissal from my position, and left the room with my emotions intact, for the moment at least. With remarkable speed, I packed up what remained of my belongings in the classroom, and got out of that fetid environment. I resisted the urge to seek revenge in any way. The next day, I brought in the textbooks that I had at home and my classroom key. Then I left that miserable school behind forever.

What have I learned from this abhorrent experience? A few things:

1. Those who call themselves Christians can stab in the back even harder than non-Christians. Very sad, considering the example that this places before the rest of the world.
2. A signed contract is no guarantee that one will be treated fairly. Unethical people find it very easy to violate signed contracts.
3. The word "Christian" is in the title in no way guarantees that a school is actually Christian in practice.
4. School boards are actually capable of hiring complete idiots to lead a school, and can be deceived into thinking that these individuals are "saving" their school.

I predict that that school will either close next year or the year after, and it is probably a good thing. The educational standards are appallingly low, and those poor students need and deserve a more competent place to be educated and prepared for life. I did the best that I could to smuggle in education to those children while I was there (despite the abominable excuse for curriculum and the completely inept leadership), and I can only hope that some of it sticks. As more and more teachers eventually escape from that sinking ship, parents are bound to wake up and realize what is going on. Sadly, I do not expect that they will awaken in time to save the school. The devastating blows have already been struck, starting with the firing of the former headmaster, who most likely could have rescued that school. Oh well, none of it is any concern of mine anymore.

I am free at last. Allen and Bill have immeasurably brightened and enriched my life - by leaving it.

A Lot of Explaining in a Short Space...

Finally, I am free to post on my blog again! I apologize for the long gap in posts, but I was afraid of losing my job if I posted about what was going on in any visible place online. Not a problem anymore!

Needless to say, the situation at work did not stay rosy for long. I soon learned that I was employed by a hostile dictatorship, intent on targeting all of the new teachers that the last headmaster hired. I don't want to run through the lengthy laundry list of all the things that went wrong at work, but I will mention the top few issues:

1. My contract was violated a grand total of four times.
2. The school forced me against my will to go to their church (contract violation, by the way). Any church or ministry that so much as considers the use of force in order to gain members is clearly out of line and is obviously not following God’s will correctly. A church that is serving its purpose and behaving biblically will have the affect of making people want to attend, or will so convict them that they will be compelled by the Holy Spirit to attend.
3. The headmaster is incompetent and constantly lies, procrastinates, and/or blames other people.
4. The school is run in such a disorganized manner that I went crazy for two months.
5. The staff are mistreated in an absolutely appalling manner.
6. I was having 5-7 migraines per week, owing to the conditions at work.

So where am I off to next? I am going to the place that I should have gone to begin with: Back to Liberty to finish my MA in history. This time it is written in stone, as I have already completely financial check-in, paid my first payment, and broken my lease. No turning back!

"Sing as We Go Along!" (Moving Day)

On the morning of the twelfth, I awoke at five in the morning, having gone to bed at one in the morning. Not the best way to start a travel day, but it's usual for me. I can never sleep the night before leaving a place. I only got about two hours of sleep the night before I left Korea! I don't know whether it's excitement or stress (or maybe both), but whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere, I feel like my eyelids are being held open with toothpicks the night before.

By 5:30, I was on the road. I had planned to stop at my favorite watering hole, Starbucks, for some nectar of life (coffee), but I wasn't sure how early they opened, so I did not wind up stopping until I reached Ohio. Then, since my blood sugar was being most unaccommodating by making me slightly dizzy and giving me one of those echo-y headaches, I stopped at a rest area for a nice, healthy breakfast - a huge, hot cinnamon roll and an iced mocha. Hey, it was healthy in a psychological way!

I made excellent time and was amazed by the lack of traffic for most of the way. There was one slight hitch in Pennsylvania when I tried to avoid a long time on the expensive toll road by detouring slightly, which resulted in a "scenic tour" of Greensburg (which, by the way, is not scenic at all), but other than that, it was a pleasant drive. I cranked up the music, sang along in my atrocious singing voice (which has been known to alter the migratory patterns of birds), and had a fine time. Then I got about half an hour away from Manassas and hit the DC traffic...

Actually, the DC traffic was not a problem at first. Everyone was merging quite well and maintaining their speed adequately, so I had no complaints. Then I got about ten minutes from Manassas and things got....interesting. That is, if you call six lanes crammed with vehicles coming to a complete halt interesting. Even then, I didn't get terribly stressed. For the first twenty minutes or so, I entertained myself by composing new lyrics to old tunes. Among some of my favorites were "Everybody Merge" (to the tune of "Everybody Sing" - "Everybody merge! Everybody merge! Let the squeal of your brakes send the world on a surge!"), "Manassas" (to the tune of "Tomorrow" - "Manassas! Manassas! I love ya, Manassas! You're only ten miles away."), and of course, my own version of "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" ("All I want is I-66, that's the way that I get my kicks. And one free pass from this jam, oh, wouldn't it be loverly?").

As the minutes dragged on, I became aware that the jam was the result of a large accident, and was not likely to clear anytime soon. Since I now have my own TomTom, I can detour to my heart's content, so I got off at Centerville and found...another accident, and another jam. Huzzah. After over another hour had passed, I finally reached my apartment - an epic journey which should have taken only twelve minutes.

The temperature was in the nineties when I arrived (at 5:30 pm), and I had a full car to unload. Thankfully, I had only one flight of steps to lug everything up, or else I might not be alive today to type this post! Since I had neglected to stop for lunch, and since I had had very little to drink all day, I soon was hit by heat exhaustion. I couldn't rest, however, because there was still the 42-inch TV left in the car, and there was no way I was going to risk leaving it in the high heat. Being flat-screened, my new television set is not extraordinarily heavy (although light does not describe it either), but it is very awkward to hang onto when only one person is carrying it, especially when sweaty hands are a factor. That trip up the steps was harrowing, but I luckily made it up without incident.

It would have been wonderful to crawl into a nice soft, cool bed after all that exertion, but sadly, my new bed is still in Michigan. Instead, I had a sleeping bag on the floor to cradle my aching bones that night. I'm not complaining though - at least I have a lovely apartment in which to sleep on the floor.

And so ended Moving Day, with our weary and sore heroine curled up on the floor, praising God for air conditioning.

The New Apartment

Below is a floor plan and a video tour of my new apartment, still in its "before" stage. After I move in, I'll try to post photos to show what I've done with the place.

Hurray, I Don't Have to Sleep in My Classroom!

That's right, folks, Stephanie is officially freed from the short sale and is now in proud possession of a stunningly gorgeous apartment. It has a sunroom, a huge walk-in closet in the bedroom, a fantastic spacious kitchen, a HUGE bathroom (for an apartment), and wonderfully large windows. The apartment complex is gated, which really pleases me. Security is a very happy thing! There is also a swimming pool, fitness center, and media room for my enjoyment. Jasper will love it when he learns that we are close to several parks and a battlefield.

Not only did I get my new apartment today; I also found a good credit union (for my personal feelings on banks, feel free to read a few earlier posts). As I always manage to, I met a very interesting new person today, too - the manager at my new credit union. She's a very sweet gal from Uzbekistan, which makes her the second person I've met from there - interestingly, I so far like 100% of the Uzbeks that I have met! Either it's a country full of neat, lovely people, or I've just had the luck of running across the cream of the crop so far.

Dad and I finished off our busy day with driving out to Woodbridge to finish getting out of the short sale, and to make another sacred pilgrimage to that mecca of furniture stores, IKEA. I picked out the last remaining items of furniture that my apartment needs, and since I take possession tomorrow officially, I can leave it right here to be waiting for me when I get back on the 12th of August. I can hardly wait for the big move!

"On the Road Again..."

Today I am off to Virginia in search of a home. Doesn't that sound so sad and pathetic? It's like a film. You know, they really should make a movie of my life. At the moment, it is closely resembling a 1930's screwball comedy! Or perhaps a tragedy. I guess it's all a matter of perspective. I'm choosing to be amused, since laughter suits my temperament better than weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Dad offered to come with me, and since that means a reprieve from driving, I accepted his offer. We're leaving this morning, spending Tuesday and Wednesday looking at apartments, and then I'll make my decision on Wednesday after the last appointment, after which we'll shove off for Michigan again. I feel so much less stressed, even though I really shouldn't feel any less stressed. That's the difference made by once more being in control of a situation.

Stress Seems to Like Me Lately...

I've been up late plotting, and I think I have finally worked out a solution. As my readers are now aware, I have decided to back out of the sale, since the bank is apparently run by people with the work ethic of Paris Hilton. Which means, that I am now put in the unenviable (but definitely humorous-someday-in-the-future) situation of having to move in less than a month, with no place to live. I start work on the 13th of August, regardless of my housing situation.

Tonight I had an inspiration. Dad's solution was to stay in a hotel for my first eight days while looking for an apartment AND working full time. I just don't think that's a viable plan, especially since by the time I get out of work, most leasing offices will be closed or close to closing. My plan is a bit nutty, but doable. I have decided to spend all day Monday calling apartment complexes, which I am doing advance research on online. Then, after picking the best ones, I'll drive down to Virginia on Tuesday, and either stay with my friend in Maryland or with friend's of my friend who lives in Virginia. I'll spend about two or three days seeing all the apartments, then make my decision, apply, and pay the deposit. When I move down on the 12th (I'm on vacation out west for the two weeks prior to that), I'll move in to my apartment. I won't have furniture, since it will be coming down with Dad later, but that's fine. I have a very nice new sleeping bag and an air mattress (actually, two of them). I can camp out! It'll be another adventure that I can relate when I get together with friends.

The advantages to my plan are that I will not be out hundreds of dollars for a hotel, I will be able to go on vacation without housing stress hanging over my head, and I can be certain of finding a place to move into by the correct date. If I wait, I may find myself stuck in a hotel for as long as a month! Yuck!

I've said it before, but really, it just begs to be said once more: WHY DO THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!

This Is the Last Time I Move!!

I say this every time that I move, but I mean it more this time: "This is the last time that I am ever moving!"

First of all, I think that my books must enjoy very active sex-lives, since they are obviously reproducing at an alarming rate. I keep finding titles that I had no idea existed, much less belonged in my library. Where did all these volumes come from? I've found books on subjects ranging from shipping history, to men's psychology (an attempt on my part to save a doomed relationship some time ago), to Victorian etiquette, to nutrition. There are British murder mysteries from the thirties, Mark Twain first editions, Bible commentaries, a bookcase-worth of autobiographies from classic film stars, and several poetry anthologies. If I ever want a new deck on the townhouse, I could build it out of my books!

My clothes hangers have the opposite problem of the books - apparently there is a Clothes Hanger Mafia in the closet that keeps killing off weaklings, putting them in cement bathing suits, and dropping them into Lake Michigan while I sleep at night. I think the Clothes Hanger Mafia might also be responsible for the recent CD case shortage. And don't get me started on the washer's voracious appetite for half of each pair of socks! Doesn't that beast ever get full?

The moving boxes are rapidly filling, and slowly taking over my bedroom (technically the guest room) and my parents' storeroom. I guess you never really know how much stuff you have until you try to shove it all into boxes and move it several hundred miles away. I think the kitchen alone has about fifteen boxes now! Maybe I should just let the stuff have the townhouse, and find a small apartment for me. I can drive out and visit my belongings on weekends, and occasionally let some of it come to my place for a sleepover.