Thursday, November 5, 2009

Getting By....Somehow

The good news is, I have a job interview with Liberty tomorrow, which could fix everything. It's a full-time position that would provide benefits and would pay for my tuition as a grad student. It may not be my dream position, but it would certainly solve my present troubles, and I would love to work for Liberty, since that institution has treated me very well in the past.

I am still emotionally reeling from the situation I lived through in Manassas. I have dreams about the school at night, and I keep replaying that "meeting" over and over in my mind. I wonder how much longer my mind will stray to thoughts of that horrid place. I guess the reason that it stays with me so is the utter betrayal that surrounds it all. Betrayal is a hard thing for me to come to grips with, I have realized.

I am driving back to Manassas on Friday to spend a few days getting a head start on the packing. Then I'll be coming back up to Michigan, where I will likely remain until the first week of December. I hate having to infringe on my parents yet again, but thanks to certain individuals, I cannot afford groceries anymore (since I am now without a paycheck for two months longer than planned). It's okay, though. I am no longer experiencing daily migraines, I don't have people spying on me anymore, and I never again have to feel that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach from driving into the parking lot of that school. I don't have to have my Sundays ruined by being forced to attend their church (attending there was like going into a restaurant longing for steak and having to settle for lukewarm milk). I have my life, my mind, and my soul intact. I can sleep peacefully at night.

Oh, by the way, I think the gloves can come off now. Previously I never referred to the school by name in my blog, knowing that most workplaces would consider that to be improper. I kept my frustration and my dismay to myself, resisting the tempting and comforting outlet of my blog. During the "scary time" when I lived in daily fear of losing my job, I was especially cautious. Now, however, I have no worries from that place. If you're wondering what school to avoid in Manassas, Virginia, the full name of the school is Emmanuel Christian School. Of course, I think it's a little more accurate to write the name this way: Emmanuel "Christian" School. There, I've done it. I took my one and only swing back, and I feel a tiny surge of pleasure. Considering what that place did to the former headmaster and is continuing to do to the excellent teachers that he hired, I think it is not at all petty to, just this once, refer to them by name. With that one strike back, I shall return to my non-fighting stance and move on with my life. ECS has done their worst, and I am free from it all.

Once again, I find myself missing Korea.

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

I apologize to my readers for letting momentary bitterness and anger taint this post. I regret that this shines a very unflattering light on me, and brings me down to within the level of those who hurt me. I will leave the post up as an accurate record of my feelings and situation, but please forgive the tone that I took in writing this post.

Let this post be a lesson to everyone - don't let yourself get bogged down by negative emotions, or you'll wind up looking just as ugly as the people who drove you there.

"Passage—immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins! Away, O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
Cut the hawsers—haul out—shake out every sail!
Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
Have we not grovell’d here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
Have we not darken’d and dazed ourselves with books long enough?

Sail forth! steer for the deep waters only!
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee, and thou with me;
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go, And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

O my brave soul!
O farther, farther sail!
O daring joy, but safe! Are they not all the seas of God?
O farther, farther, farther sail!"

~Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"