- Will my three months of nearly constant headaches come to an end (or at least lessen) tomorrow?
- How are my students going to do on their finals without me helping them prepare?
- Did I teach them well enough? Oh gosh, what if I didn't?
- What if I can't bear the pain and have to switch to general anesthetic during the operation? What if that means Dr. Ai can't do the adjustment correctly?
- How am I going to get dressed the morning after, when both eyes are bandaged up?
- How will I keep from going crazy having to sit out the last weeks of the school year in order to recuperate? Could I maybe go in and just stay on the first floor . . . . no, too many stairs just getting there.
- But what about the students who are leaving our school? I want to see them one last time!
- How much more help am I going to have to ask for?
- I hate asking for help! Argh, I don't want to keep burdening other people!
- I know it's going to hurt, I know it's going to hurt . . . how much?
- What if I accidentally move during surgery, right when she's cutting?
- Thank goodness Jane is coming to help me make it home; she's so comforting.
- Oh man, I am going to be blind at Beijing airport!!! How the heck is Jane going to get me through there?
- What if it doesn't work?
I know it's going to be fine; I know I will survive. I really am focusing on the 75% chance of success — I'm no gambler, but I do know those are good odds. I am still keeping my sense of humor, even when I've got worries tumbling around inside.
I thoroughly appreciate the fact that my flight out of Beijing Friday night is a red eye!