Friday, March 29, 2013

Candle on the Window

Today, I worked hard to create a lovely space in my bedroom for lying on the floor (on my very soft rug), studying or perhaps enjoying a pleasant novel.  All that was needed for the perfect ambiance to add to my most recent Kindle acquisition was a nice lavender-scented candle, in its pretty glass holder.  I spent a very happy interlude with my book on the floor, then went off to the kitchen for a glass of water.  When I returned, less than two minutes later . . .

The candle somehow reached a temperature hot enough to send flames leaping from the glass holder.  Concerned for the safety of my bedroom, I tried to blow it out, but the flames happily lapped up my expelled breath and grew larger.  Thinking rapidly, I became aware of the glass of water in my hand.  Now, I am smart enough to know that pouring the whole thing on the fire would have likely ended badly, so I instead opted to slowly dribble a bit of water on the fire, hoping to shrink it down gradually and calmly.  What happened next was a massive sizzling, followed by some spitting and hissing (it sounded not unlike an angry stray cat), followed by an explosion of glass, wax, and fire.  My glasses and window were splattered by the wax and the glass had enough force to send some of it more than three feet away.  As I opened the window to release the billowing smoke afterwards, I observed a moment of silence for the ten years of my life that fled in panic during the explosion.  An hour later, my hands were still shaking!

Who knew that cheap candles could be so dangerous???

All that remains of my dearly departed candle.

Here's What I Was Eating:

Without further ado, here are the answers from my previous post about odd comments made during mealtimes:

  • "So, do I eat the whole foot in one bite, or am I supposed to eat it one toe at a time?" - This was during my first encounter with chicken feet, in a recipe where they are served hot.  I can report that although the texture made me a little squirmy, it was actually quite tasty.  Not much meat, though.  I will add, however, that I was NOT in favor of chicken feet when I had them served to me cold on another occasion.  
  • "I don't swallow the toenails, right?" - Also from the chicken feet incident.
  • "How on earth do I eat this animal??  He looks like he could fight me to the death before I can even get him in my mouth!" - This was my second time seeing but first time eating an odd little sea creature called a 'pipa xia'.  The best English translation I could find called it a 'slipper lobster'.  He was so delicious that I consumed many of his friends and relatives as well as him.
  • "So you suck the brains out?" - Also from the previous creature.
  • "Hmmm, I think this one was pregnant when she made it into the pot." - I was eating a shrimp whose egg sacs were still intact.  
  • "And you said this was what part of the cow?  . . . . . Oh." - Yes, your first thought was correct.  I did consume a bull's, er . . . yeah, THAT part of the bull.  Ew.
  • "Sorry, his body armor got caught on my lip." - Those pipa xia really fight back!
  • "Maggie, I'm pretty sure Diana was pulling your leg.  I really don't think you're supposed to serve them frozen." - My dear friend/adopted sister Maggie prepared shrimp . . . and served them frozen.
  • "Wow, judging by the leg, this one was the Marilyn Monroe of the species!" - My friend Linda and I had decided upon rabbit legs for our lunch.  Quite possibly my new favorite meat!
  • "It's a very handy animal.  All that labor, and delicious, too!" -  I really love donkey meat.
  • "Wait, I'm not sure if I understood you correctly.  Sorry, my Chinese isn't always so good.  Did you say this was fish brains or some kind of vegetable?" - It was not, in fact fish brains (although I have eaten those, too).  It was a taro, and the Chinese name for it sounds almost the same as the Chinese for fish brains.
  • "You know, I really thought this part of the body would taste bumpier, but actually I really like it!" - First and definitely not the last time eating cow tongue.
  • "It's sort of like poetic justice eating him, considering what his relatives have done to me in the past." - My salad included some jellyfish in it.
  • "You're sure you're not pulling my leg?  Civilized people actually eat that and enjoy it?  It's not just a fun trick to play on a foreigner?  You're going to eat it, too?" - This was when my friend invited me out for fish brains . . . and yes, I really did eat them.  Odd, but not awful.
  • "Once you get used to the sliminess, it's really delicious." - This was a special type of fungus that I had never tried before.
  • "I'm pretty sure that corpses smell better than this.  How did anyone ever get the initial desire to find out if it was edible?" - Durian smells absolutely dreadful, but is quite delicious . . . if cooked.  It's horrendously disgusting if not cooked.
  • "Yeah, the tentacles really add something to the texture of the dish." - Just your average dish of octopus noodle soup.
  • "Do you realize, I have never once eaten ___ cooked?  I've only ever had it raw!" - Salmon!  Someday I'll find out if I like it cooked as much as I like it raw.
  • "Well now I've got a tail stuck in my tooth . . . " - There are hazards to eating very small shrimp.
  • "So the poison has a lot of health benefits?" - Ah, scorpions.  Yummy!
  • "I just wish he wouldn't look at me with quite so much pleading in his eyes as I'm getting ready to start tearing into him with my chopsticks." - This was from the time when I ate fish brains.
  • "The fungus just adds so much flavor to the dish." - Black fungus and eggs, one of my new favorite dishes.
  • "This smells like dead feet, but it sure tastes good!" - My first time eating aptly named 'stinky tofu'.
  • "Oh, you're right — the texture is a lot like mashed brains!" - One of my favorite tofu soups translates into English as 'tofu brains' . . . although there are no actual brains in the soup.
The long, long list of other foods I've eaten, either in China so far or in Korea includes such delicacies as:  Fried silkworm larva, a grasshopper, a cricket (both adult and pupa), sea worm (I thought it was a weird type of noodle), sea snail (I thought it was beef), raw beef, "thousand year old egg," and sea cucumber (the most revolting thing I have ever put in my mouth -- although the fried silkworm larva is a definite contender for that honor).  Sometimes I eat things just to be polite, other times out of a sense of adventure, and still other times because I have no idea what it is.  Life overseas is definitely an experience that broadens your horizons!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Twenty for the Twenties

I realized today, courtesy of a wretched friend with far too good of a memory, that I have a birthday coming up in two months.  And it's the last birthday of my twenties.

I need a pause so that I may suck in my breath dramatically.

Thank you.  I think that helped a little.

Yes, I know that 29 is not old, that I have plenty more years ahead of me (well, probably — I mean, I've cheated death so many times now that I'm starting to think that I might be part cockroach), and that birthdays are not the enemy.  But, I still am having a hard time realizing that the twenties are almost over.  I mean, where did the time go?  And how did it go so quickly?

I used to make lists of things to do each year, and I got out of the practice after completely failing at the list I made before turning 26.  This year, however, in honor of 29 being the last year of my twenties, I have made a list of twenty things to do before my twenties are over (sort of a 'bucket list'):

  1. Go to Ireland.  See the original Book of Kells, Skellig Michael, Christ Church Cathedral, Trinity College, and about a dozen other sites.
  2. Go to 桂林 (Guilin), one of the most beautiful places in China.
  3. Go to 云南 (Yunnan) province.
  4. Pass the HSK 4.
  5. Pass the HSK 5.
  6. Learn to crochet.
  7. Get a dog.
  8. Finish editing and publishing Sidhe Eyes.
  9. Write my second novel.
  10. Start my second master's degree (an M.Ed. this time).
  11. Write a textbook.
  12. Read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe in Chinese.
  13. Figure out Evernote.  
  14. Try a hobby that I've never tried before.
  15. Eat a fruit that I've never seen before.
  16. Lose the weight that I gained in grad school.
  17. Decorate my next apartment.  (I have avoided this in the past two apartments.)
  18. Make my own cookbook of recipes that can 'easily' be made in China.
  19. Start keeping a journal again.
  20. Have a qípáo made.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Game: What Was Stephanie Eating When She Said This?

The following are actual statements said by me while eating, most within the past four months.  I feel that, better than anything else, these comments vividly illustrate just how much I have changed since I was a child (I was an incredibly picky eater until I moved out on my own).  Many of these comments were originally made in Chinese, but since most people who read my blog speak English, I've translated everything into English.  For fun, try guessing what I was eating when each statement was made (I'll post the answers next week).
  1. "So, do I eat the whole foot in one bite, or am I supposed to eat it one toe at a time?"
  2. "I don't swallow the toenails, right?"
  3. "How on earth do I eat this animal??  He looks like he could fight me to the death before I can even get him in my mouth!"
  4. "So you suck the brains out?"
  5. "Hmmm, I think this one was pregnant when she made it into the pot."
  6. "And you said this was what part of the cow?  . . . . . Oh."
  7. "Sorry, his body armor got caught on my lip."
  8. "Maggie, I'm pretty sure Diana was pulling your leg.  I really don't think you're supposed to serve them frozen."
  9. "Wow, judging by the leg, this one was the Marilyn Monroe of the species!"
  10. "It's a very handy animal.  All that labor, and delicious, too!"
  11. "Wait, I'm not sure if I understood you correctly.  Sorry, my Chinese isn't always so good.  Did you say this was fish brains or some kind of vegetable?"
  12. "You know, I really thought this part of the body would taste bumpier, but actually I really like it!"
  13. "It's sort of like poetic justice eating him, considering what his relatives have done to me in the past."
  14. "You're sure you're not pulling my leg?  Civilized people actually eat that and enjoy it?  It's not just a fun trick to play on a foreigner?  You're going to eat it, too?"
  15. "Once you get used to the sliminess, it's really delicious."
  16. "I'm pretty sure that corpses smell better than this.  How did anyone ever get the initial desire to find out if it was edible?"
  17. "Yeah, the tentacles really add something to the texture of the dish."
  18. "Do you realize, I have never once eaten ___ cooked?  I've only ever had it raw!"
  19. "Well now I've got a tail stuck in my tooth . . . "
  20. "So the poison has a lot of health benefits?"
  21. "I just wish he wouldn't look at me with quite so much pleading in his eyes as I'm getting ready to start tearing into him with my chopsticks."
  22. "The fungus just adds so much flavor to the dish."
  23. "This smells like dead feet, but it sure tastes good!"
  24. "Oh, you're right — the texture is a lot like mashed brains!"

Summarizing Four Months in One Post

It has been such a long time since I've been able to blog.  Four months . . . and actually, it feels in some ways like four years.  There's been so much to come to terms with and so much to take on, and frankly, there are times when I question absolutely everything . . . except for why I'm here.  I can honestly say, I never question that.  I question my abilities, my effectiveness as a teacher, how I'm viewed by others, some of my decisions in the past.  But in spite of everything, I still know I'm supposed to be here.

I had a conversation several days ago with two friends whom I regularly help with their English.  One of them asked me about my decision to come to China.  Well, I call it "my" decision, but in all frankness, it was not.  It was His decision, and I accepted it and I have never regretted accepting it.  My friend asked me how I knew it was the right choice, and I struggled for a moment as to how to explain the inexplicable certainty that I felt and still feel.  I have never in my life, other than when I accepted Christ, felt so certain.  Finally, I found the right words for it.  I answered her with another question, "How do you know that the sky is blue?"  That, I think, is the best explanation I shall ever have for how I know.

Obviously, I can't go into too many details of some of the struggles of the past four months.  Some things would be distasteful to air in as public a forum as a blog, others unprofessional, and other details would merely serve no constructive purpose.  Suffice to say, there are a lot of struggles that I battle through emotionally; sometimes I almost feel inclined to succumb to temptation and blame Satan by labeling it all a 'spiritual attack'.  Some mornings, when I've felt so overburdened that I've wanted to hide away from life, from people, from everything one can hide away from, I've had that very thought.  And, because I know better, I eventually slap on some common sense and pull myself together.

The truth is that every trial I face boils down to being a flawed human working with other flawed humans in a world riddled with further flaws.  Satan doesn't have to lift a finger — he can merely recline in his lair and watch bemusedly as we all do his work for him, many of us claiming all the while to be doing the Lord's work.  In fact, I sometimes speculate that we Christians do an awful lot of Satan's work for him — all with the best of intentions, of course.  We shut people out and call it 'community'.  We work ourselves to exhaustion and call it 'service' without actually serving anyone.  We pat ourselves on the back and feel holy because we did one simple task that's expected of us; all the while, the truly important tasks are left for someone 'more qualified'.  I believe that nothing demonstrates the unfathomable scope of God's love so much as the fact that He deliberately chose the most inefficient, whiny, insufferably arrogant creatures and called them His children.
"Passage—immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins! Away, O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
Cut the hawsers—haul out—shake out every sail!
Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
Have we not grovell’d here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
Have we not darken’d and dazed ourselves with books long enough?

Sail forth! steer for the deep waters only!
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee, and thou with me;
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go, And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

O my brave soul!
O farther, farther sail!
O daring joy, but safe! Are they not all the seas of God?
O farther, farther, farther sail!"

~Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"