Thursday, December 10, 2009

Christmastime is Dangerous

The tree is finally up and elegantly decorated. So, it was time today to lug the enormous ornament storage boxes back to their home in the deep recesses of the basement, from whence they will be retrieved when it's time to pack up all the Christmas decorations. Hmmm...let's examine this equation together, shall we? Staircase + large boxes + Stephanie. Okay class, who would like to take a guess as to the result? You there, in the back - go ahead and speak up. You think the result is Stephanie with a twisted ankle? Very good! You go to the head of the class.

How exactly did this scenario play out, you may be wondering. Well, allow me to enlighten you. I stepped down with my left foot (the foot with the bad ankle), thinking that I had reached the bottom step. In reality, I was two or three steps off in my estimate (I couldn't see over the two large boxes I was carrying). My ankle twisted under me with a sickening "crack!" and the boxes and I all went down for the count. I am happy to report that I did not make any profane exclamations, although I did my fair share of whimpering. I managed to make it back up the stairs on my knees, then wrapped, elevated, and iced my rapidly-swelling ankle. I'm a pro when it comes to first aid!

Remember people, Christmastime is a harrowing time of multiple treacherous dangers. Proceed with caution! It's no fun rocking around the Christmas tree on crutches, nor is it a silent night if you're moaning in agony. Also, having a body cast on does not make a white Christmas. And drive carefully in that winter wonderland out there, or you'll only be home for Christmas in your morphine-induced dreams.

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"Passage—immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins! Away, O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
Cut the hawsers—haul out—shake out every sail!
Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
Have we not grovell’d here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
Have we not darken’d and dazed ourselves with books long enough?

Sail forth! steer for the deep waters only!
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee, and thou with me;
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go, And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

O my brave soul!
O farther, farther sail!
O daring joy, but safe! Are they not all the seas of God?
O farther, farther, farther sail!"

~Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"