There once a girl named Stephanie
Who had pencils ‘far as she could see.
Though she coughed from the lead
She kept plunging ahead,
Stephanie and her sharpeners three.
Poor Stephanie had pencils galore,
And boxes piled up with e’en more!
She sharpened each one
Till the whole pile was done,
Then, exhausted, collapsed to the floor!
Three sharpeners sat on a desk
Each acting quite statuesque
When the pencils in their stead
Started shedding their lead
And turned the act into burlesque
A grad student working at LU
Had numerous odd jobs to do.
Her bulging resume
Had a great deal to say
When at last she bid them adieu!
Thousands of pencils sat waiting
While the sharpeners kept on grating
Said a pencil to his friend,
“Dear, this is the end,
For I fear that my size is abating.”
One day I had pencils to grind
Till the noise put me out of my mind.
The whole office cheered
As the last pencil was sheared,
But cried when Dr. Letting resigned.
There once was a girl in IE
Who went on a sharpening spree.
Poisoned by the lead,
She went nuts in her head,
And was quarantined by CDC
A proud student of academ-ese
Found her brain beginning to freeze.
Though she loved her subject,
She began to suspect,
She was killing herself by degrees.