The Stomach Flu: We Shall Call It a Cultural Experience

Just two weeks had passed since my lengthy bout with flu, and I thought all was well.  Aaaaand then, the roommates both toppled over with stomach flu.  I knew my days were numbered.

The vomiting actually started on Tuesday evening, but I thought I could just forego eating and thus make it through school on Wednesday.  With many, many teachers down with this thing, I was concerned that we would not have enough subs to cover my classes.  However, the low blood sugar from not eating had me so dizzy on Wednesday that I finally gave in and ate a decent lunch . . . mistake.  After I vomited up my lunch, I agreed with the other teachers that it was best to head home, rather than help spread the disease further.

Heading home was not such a simple matter.  Our dreadful dirt road that leads up to the school building is at present being paved, which means one cannot walk down it to the main road.  Fortunately, the guards were helpful (and my Chinese is good enough now) so I was able to get directions to the main road via a very rustic, "scenic" route through the local village.  Nothing like getting raced at by a bedraggled chicken while holding your heaving stomach and attempting not to trip on VERY narrow alleyways!  A few locals chatted with me pleasantly as I wound my way through the never-ending maze of tiny ramshackle buildings in search of the main road that I was beginning to question ever being able to find.  I was quite delighted when my path finally deposited me on the correct road - albeit a bit further down than I had anticipated (I guess the chicken distracted me a bit).

I had initially planned to taxi home but, ditz that I've been lately, I forgot to put money in my wallet and only had a few kuai with me.  So, 104 bus it was for me - my least favorite bus, but the only one that goes from way out where the school is to my home.  The main trouble with the 104 is that it never comes!  I waited more than 30 minutes for that wretched contraption, while suffering the indignity of having THREE  301 buses arrive in succession, within less than five minutes.  I was, in my present nauseated and dizzy state, rather embittered against the 104 bus.

When the bus finally came, I breathed a sigh of relief - and after the second stop, realized that that breath might well be my last.  A man sat in the available seat next to me, hauling a basket full of very fresh, very fragrant fish.  It may have been the fever, but I am convinced that I saw some wiggling tails . . . and I also earnestly believe that one of those fish winked impishly at me.  The smell was pretty damaging to me in my state, but the other options were stand in the back or get off and wait forever for another 104.  It was only the beguiling image of my oh-so-merciful bed playing across my mind that kept me in my seat, holding my breath next to the fish-man.

As soon as I got off the bus, I began to heave and soon discovered, to my surprise, that there were indeed still some contents left in my stomach.  The gutter received them all.  I was relieved that, for once, there were very few people around to see the show, "Remains of the Lunch."  As I finally recovered myself enough to head home (the 104 doesn't go all that close to my home, so there was still a decent walk after disembarking), I became aware that the Korean business behind me was merrily blasting "Gangnam Style" on its loudspeakers . . . and I just happened to be vomiting right during the line "Hey, sexy ladies!"  I stifled a chuckle, then headed home, mentally composing my own version of the song, containing the memorable line "Upchuck Gangnam style!"

It was with considerable relief that I entered the front door, ghostwalked to the bedroom, and collapsed facedown in the welcoming embrace of my bed.

Free at Last...But a Little Stunned

On Thursday, the school's "leadership" rose up to my low expectations of them and fired me. I had a feeling (call it prophecy) that they might pull a stunt like that, so I was not completely unprepared - I had already taken most of my things home from my classroom, although I had not prepared for the emotional impact. Right now I feel blindsided, numb, and exhausted.

I left school as quickly as I could after the "meeting" with the two headmasters, packed up a bunch of my things from the apartment, and then on Friday drove to Lynchburg to sign the new lease, then back to Michigan. Whew! I got in at 4:30 in the morning, and went straight to bed. Today, I am completely wiped out, both physically and emotionally. I expect a great surge of emotion to wallop me on Monday, but for now I'm still varying between feeling absolutely nothing and experiencing short-lived bursts of emotion.

A few words about that "meeting" on Thursday:
Right after school, in his usual domineering fashion, one of the headmasters informed me that he wanted to see me. As soon as he and his stooge (the other headmaster) closed the door of the office, I knew what was going to happen. They, naturally, were furious at what I had written in my letter of resignation (I told the truth, which seems to be something they despise at that school). Those two grown men yelled at me and behaved in their usual threatening, unprofessional manner. They had clearly been watching and waiting until they could gather a good flimsy reason for letting me go, and I could see it all clearly as they did their worst.

Normally, a confrontation like that with authority would have reduced me to immediate violent tears (especially since I have never before been in a situation like that). This time, however, something happened within me. As the two men railed on, my mind awoke to a few realizations:

1. These two men, with their yelling and their pompous self-righteousness, were making themselves look too foolish to be taken seriously. No longer could I see them as figures of authority worthy of respect; they had now removed the veil of respectably and metamorphosed themselves into their true natures: twin paradigms of idiocy and amateurish management. Thus, I was no longer capable of fearing them.
2. No amount of groveling on my part could have save me; nor would I have wanted it to. I was clearly in the right, and thus there was no reason to apologize for being correct.
3. None of this was my fault. I had been looking for possible ways to blame myself for the situation I found myself in, but honestly, I had behaved in an upright, ethical manner through all of it. There was nothing that I could or should have done differently. Although normally it "takes two to tango," in this instance, all of the blame rests on the incompetent shoulders of two absurd men.

So, I made no attempt to fight against what was happening. I accepted the early dismissal from my position, and left the room with my emotions intact, for the moment at least. With remarkable speed, I packed up what remained of my belongings in the classroom, and got out of that fetid environment. I resisted the urge to seek revenge in any way. The next day, I brought in the textbooks that I had at home and my classroom key. Then I left that miserable school behind forever.

What have I learned from this abhorrent experience? A few things:

1. Those who call themselves Christians can stab in the back even harder than non-Christians. Very sad, considering the example that this places before the rest of the world.
2. A signed contract is no guarantee that one will be treated fairly. Unethical people find it very easy to violate signed contracts.
3. The word "Christian" is in the title in no way guarantees that a school is actually Christian in practice.
4. School boards are actually capable of hiring complete idiots to lead a school, and can be deceived into thinking that these individuals are "saving" their school.

I predict that that school will either close next year or the year after, and it is probably a good thing. The educational standards are appallingly low, and those poor students need and deserve a more competent place to be educated and prepared for life. I did the best that I could to smuggle in education to those children while I was there (despite the abominable excuse for curriculum and the completely inept leadership), and I can only hope that some of it sticks. As more and more teachers eventually escape from that sinking ship, parents are bound to wake up and realize what is going on. Sadly, I do not expect that they will awaken in time to save the school. The devastating blows have already been struck, starting with the firing of the former headmaster, who most likely could have rescued that school. Oh well, none of it is any concern of mine anymore.

I am free at last. Allen and Bill have immeasurably brightened and enriched my life - by leaving it.

A Lot of Explaining in a Short Space...

Finally, I am free to post on my blog again! I apologize for the long gap in posts, but I was afraid of losing my job if I posted about what was going on in any visible place online. Not a problem anymore!

Needless to say, the situation at work did not stay rosy for long. I soon learned that I was employed by a hostile dictatorship, intent on targeting all of the new teachers that the last headmaster hired. I don't want to run through the lengthy laundry list of all the things that went wrong at work, but I will mention the top few issues:

1. My contract was violated a grand total of four times.
2. The school forced me against my will to go to their church (contract violation, by the way). Any church or ministry that so much as considers the use of force in order to gain members is clearly out of line and is obviously not following God’s will correctly. A church that is serving its purpose and behaving biblically will have the affect of making people want to attend, or will so convict them that they will be compelled by the Holy Spirit to attend.
3. The headmaster is incompetent and constantly lies, procrastinates, and/or blames other people.
4. The school is run in such a disorganized manner that I went crazy for two months.
5. The staff are mistreated in an absolutely appalling manner.
6. I was having 5-7 migraines per week, owing to the conditions at work.

So where am I off to next? I am going to the place that I should have gone to begin with: Back to Liberty to finish my MA in history. This time it is written in stone, as I have already completely financial check-in, paid my first payment, and broken my lease. No turning back!

Dragon Stores and Women

I let the kindergartners play picture bingo yesterday, because they behaved so well for their lesson. Sam reminded me of the Muppet character "Animal" when he shouted out (as I was handing out the boards, which have pictures and words on them), "Woman! Woman! I want a woman!" (He wanted a board that had the word 'woman' on it - could we have a future playboy in our midst?)

Earlier in the lesson, we were practicing the sentence "I went to the ________." I pointed to the picture of the drugstore and asked Eddy, "Eddy, where did you go yesterday?" Eddy replied, "I went to the dragon store!"

New Students

Just when I finally learned the names of all of my students, I got more students! Two new kids, Mindy and Andy, were added to my E4-B (phonics and vocabulary) class. Both of them are cute, smart, and friendly. They're fitting in splendidly, so I don't mind that class getting bigger (they were a good class to start with). Mindy in particular is a real sweetheart.

Cate also decided to merge two classes, so my E3-D (phonics) class, which previously had only four students, now has eleven. Here is where the problem comes: the new kids are much slower and the original four students resent the "intruders." I am finding it a challenge to bring the new kids up to speed without boring the other kids, or worse yet, adding to their resentment. At least the seven new students are pretty well behaved. I miss the intimacy of the smaller class, though.

I also lost a few students (fortunately none of my favorites, although I did like all but one of the kids I lost). My last class of the day lost the biggest troublemaker, for which I am grateful (he was a monster), as well as one of the girls. She never talked, so her absence isn't really noticeable, but I still kind of miss her. In my E2-A (phonics) class, I also lost one. This kid was a sweet little guy who could be a handful sometimes, but was just so cute and enthusiastic that I never really minded. As much as I liked him, I have to say that the class is quieter and better behaved without him.

That's the one downside of being a teacher - I can't hold onto my students forever. I dread the day my contract ends! How could I ever say goodbye to kids like Rosie, Jinny, Erin, Sally, Rose, Perry, Gene, Emily, Amy, Harry, Sam, or Jay? And what about Cali, Anne, Angie, Tracy, Minnie, Patrick, Isaac, Chad, Lynn, or Linda? Not to mention Liz, John, Sam, Tommy, Cleo, Gloria, Mindy, Susie, and Lisa! I never knew I could fall in love with so many kids!

Dinner with the Parents

Dinner tonight went pretty well. Of course, I was a bit nervous having dinner with the parents of one of my students (Anne, from my favorite class), but at least Gary and Cate were along, as well as Rosie (Cate's delightful daughter) so I wasn't completely put on the spot. Anne is a sweet little girl, and her parents are quite nice, but it was important that I represent the school well, which put a little pressure on me.

We went to a charming little Chinese restaurant, which I was very glad about. I love Korean restaurants, but it is so much easier to make a good impression when you get to sit in a chair, as opposed to the floor. Of course, we used chopsticks, which I'm still not as dexterous with as I would like to be (though vastly improved from when I first came).

There were loads of new foods for me to try (served in courses), most of which I thought were fantastic. I've gotten to the point now where I don't even bother to ask what I'm eating anymore, so I have no idea exactly what ingredients were in each thing I ate. The dumplings with stir-fried peppers and chicken were yummy, as were the sticky sweet potatoes, pickled radishes, and the sweet and sour pork. Best of all were the ginormous shrimp with a light, sweet, buttery coating. Normally I'm not a shrimp fan, but these were amazing! My soup was pretty good, albeit a bit odd: there were pieces of tentacle from some species of sea creature, which I found very difficult too eat (too rubbery for my liking). Of course, the main dish of chajang myon was great (even though I had that for lunch). There was one other dish involving shrimp that I tried and, while it was not a smash hit, it was acceptable to my palette.

The trouble came with a seemingly innocent vegetable and shrimp dish that involved a great deal of broccoli. I personally consider broccoli to be the second greatest among vegetables, so I was eager to try this new dish. Nothing in its appearance prepared me for what was to come. In short, that dish was cruel and vindictive! It was very spicy to begin with, and then I bit into some unidentified crunchy object that was so hot it brought instant tears to my eyes and made me almost desperate enough to tear my tongue out of my mouth and throw it across the restaurant. As I was being observed by Anne's parents, I had no choice but to swallow and try to downplay just how much agony I was in. The side of my tongue is actually still sore from whatever it was I bit into.

Aside from that one mishap, and the one water chestnut that chose to dive into my lap rather than my mouth, dinner was a success. Anne's parents seemed pleased with us teachers, and I thought both of them were very kind. It was also nice to get to spend a little extra time with two of my best students, both of whom are really fun little girls to be around.

One thing continues to amaze me though: I can't figure out how Koreans can stay so small and yet eat so much at each meal! Every Korean I've met can out-eat me easily, yet I'm like Behemoth next to them! It must be all the stairs they put everywhere.

My Clothes Have Been Known to Excite Small Children

It is gorgeous outside today. The sun is bright and cheerful, the sky is a happy light blue, and it's warm enough to go without a coat. Naturally, I felt the need to dress accordingly, so I put on my brightest red shirt this morning. I had no idea what delight my shirt would have for my kindergartners (they are a rather unpredictable bunch).

When I walked into my first class, with my four little cuties that speak next to no English, I was greeted with cheers of "Hello! Red! Red! Hello, hello!" The kids paid much closer attention than normal, so I'm wondering if the shirt had anything to do with it. After class, Jay, my slowest little boy, came and sat with me for a few minutes and kept pointing to his shirt and then mine, saying "red." (He was also wearing a red shirt.) I was so delighted to hear that he has learned something!

In my next kindergarten class, I was greeted with more cheers: "Hi Teacher! Teacher red shirt! Red!" As with my first class, I seemed to hold their attention much better than usual. So either English was much more fascinating today, or kids like red shirts.

After class is over, the kids play together while waiting for their parents. Today, as often happens, they got a bit too wound up and there was soon the sound of crying. It was little Jay, and he came barrelling into the office, ignored the two Korean teachers, and threw himself into my lap. I almost started tearing up myself! He wanted comfort from the foreigner! I can barely communicate with the kid, and yet he likes me! It was a very special moment for me.

I have reached the conclusion that although kindergartners are twice the stress and three times the work of my other classes, they are not without rewards. Kindy kids give the best hugs, for one thing. They make you want to pull your hair out one minute, and then the next minute they do something so unbelievably cute and/or sweet that you wish you could bottle the moment and preserve it forever. They are really lovable little monsters!

On Friday, when Mark and I got back from Daegu, he took me to lunch at a Chinese restaurant that serves excellent chajang myun (noodles in a dark sauce with beef). It was Kids' Day at school, so Cate and two other teachers took the kindergartners out to lunch at the same restaurant Mark and I were at. The kids saw me immediately, and began shouting excitedly, "Stiff-unnie Teacher! Hello Stiff-unnie Teacher!" (By the way Mom and Dad, thanks for giving me a name that not a single Korean can pronounce.) It felt great knowing that just the sight of me excites my little pupils. It felt even better knowing that I didn't have to eat with them!

The Best Laid Plans...

Today I had to go to Daegu to register with the immigration office. On the drive there, weaving through the hazy, blue mountains, I found myself reflecting on the series of events that brought me here.

It's funny: one year ago, I thought for sure 2008 would find me in Kalamazoo, attending Reformed Baptist Church and spending all my free time with Duper and the rest of the gang. Two years ago, I knew for certain that at this time I would be finishing up my master's degree in public history at UNC Wilmington. Five years ago, I thought I would have my bachelor's degree from PCC (not Liberty) and be teaching a history class in a private school in the USA right now. Ten years ago, I was convinced that by age 23, I would be married and have at least one child.

Life is very unpredictable. The very dreams that are built upon one day are ground into sand the next. Ideals are clutched tenderly and moments later discarded like rubbish. The best laid plans are carefully sketched out, and then later completely abandoned. Sometimes, I trade in my plans for something better, and sometimes just for something different. Often after years of dreaming, when the dream finally becomes reality, I find that the dream was better.

It was a very long, very complicated road that brought me here to Korea. I had to make a few U-turns, met a few dead ends, and even took a few detours, but I guess most of it has been worth it. A few of the detours, I could have done without, but all in all, I am at last finding my way. I am very glad that my road has taken me to Korea.

Ever since I was about three years old, and first became aware of other countries, I have dreamed of living abroad. As much as I have always wanted it, however, this was never really a dream I thought would come true. I always imagined this would be my "untold want," such as Whitman wrote of. Asia never even entered my mind until I studied East Asia in my junior year of college. Even then, I was fascinated, but never thought I would actually go there. I didn't really consider Korea seriously until about July of last year, and I kept putting the thought out of my head until November, when it refused to leave my mind and took permanent root. And now, mere months later, here I am. This is my new dream, and for a change, the reality is better.

As we drove back from Daegu, back through through those same enchanting mountains, I could hear familiar song lyrics in my mind:

"Climb ev'ry mountain,
Search high and low,
Follow ev'ry by-way,
Every path you know.

Climb ev'ry mountain,
Ford ev'ry stream,
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream..."

"My Bonnie" Has Broken My Body!

Ugg...my legs are so sore today that I am finding it unpleasant to do anything but sit. I played too many active games with my students yesterday, including "My Bonnie" (several times). "My Bonnie" is a great leg workout - you play/sing the song "My Bonnie," having everyone stand or sit whenever there is a word starting with "B" or "O." I had my second kindergarten class and two phonics classes do it, and the kids loved it. Loved it so much, in fact, that they begged to do it multiple times. Thus, my thighs are considering mutiny right now! Living on the fourth floor is not a good thing today!

My kindergartners were monsters today. They had way too much energy, and not much interest in learning, plus I am having a dickens of a time trying to teach the second class the concept of "this" and "that." It got very frustrating for me, especially owing to the language barrier. I managed not to take out my frustration on the kids, which was one small triumph. I'm going to spend a few hours online tonight and see if I can find some better methods for teaching kindy kids.

I had a major triumph yesterday in my last class, which features my most disobedient students. I got them to be almost silent! I also, I believe, have somehow earned their respect, which I suspect is why they listened when I asked them to be quiet. I had a difficult decision to make in the beginning of that class: two students did not do the homework that I assigned, even though it was short and simple. I was faced with the choice of either maintaining discipline or showing mercy. Discipline can earn respect, but sometimes mercy goes farther toward establishing trust and a better relationship. I chose to show mercy, although I explained that both students would be punished the next time. I think I made the right decision.

All in all, I have found so far that I like teaching. I think I'm doing well with most of my classes, but I do feel a bit inept with two of them. I guess I'll just have to sacrifice a bit more of my free time to hunting down new games and new methods. If I am going to be a teacher, then, by golly, I am going to be a good one.

TPR Saved My Life!

TPR (Total Physical Response) is the greatest game ever created for poor, frustrated ESL teachers struggling with kindergartners! I should know. I used that game today with my littlest kids, and it was a resounding success. Not only did they love the game, they also learned a couple of basic commands far faster than they would have in a lesson.

TPR is easy to teach, too, which is necessary with that class. All you have to do is shout out commands, and the kids follow them. For instance, today I had the kids doing "sit down," "stand up," "hello," "open," "close," and "walk." They had so much fun that it never occurred to them that they were actually learning. Tomorrow, I'm going to use TPR again, but with new commands added. I highly recommend this technique to any other ESL teachers.

First Full Day of Teaching - Can I Take a Nap Now?

Wow. I am really tired. As in, I-feel-like-I-just-swam-the-English-Channel tired. It was, shall we say, rather hectic today. I had ten classes to teach, and I had to do the lesson plans as well. Then there were the mistakes that so enrich each new experience...

To start with, my first batch of kindergartners know absolutely no English. Imagine keeping a bunch of three and five year olds entertained for an hour, while actually teaching them something. Now imagine not having the ability to communicate and still having to do all that. Imagine trying to teach them a new game. Imagine trying to read them a story. Yeah, it was difficult to say the least. At least they're well-behaved and quiet.

My next batch of kindy kids are very energetic and have a good grasp of English. Unfortunately, I did not have the right book to teach them with. So, I learned my first lesson in improvisation. I reviewed with them, read a story, sang songs, and oddly enough, they liked it and I held their attention. Whew!

I ran into a problem later when one of my classes had been switched, and Cate forgot to tell me. After a few frantic moments, we got it sorted out. Actually, I'm delighted about the switch because it means I get to teach a terrific class of five little smarties who have an excellent grasp of English. I can carry on good conversations with them, and all of them are very eager to learn more. It is so rewarding to teach kids who want you to teach them.

My only other trouble was actually just the potential for trouble. All of my bad kids are in my last class, so I expected far worse than I got. I was very lucky today and was able to keep them on task, but I certainly felt the tension and worry the whole time. These kids are smart too, but they hide it well sometimes. I want them to learn, so I have to stay even more motivated than them, which I know will prove hard since they lack the eagerness of most of my other classes.

I learned a lot today. I figured out some techniques that work well, and I think I have accurately assessed which students I can depend on to help move the class along and set the right speed. I also learned just how great it feels to get mobbed by a bunch of adoring six-year-olds all trying to hug me at once.

Funny story: I picked up some microwave meals at the store today and decided to try one for lunch. It looked like a tasty chicken and rice dish, which it was. Unfortunately, it was an exceedingly hot tasty chicken and rice dish, so my lips were still tingling almost an hour later! It would really help if I could read Korean.

The Korean Kids Feed Me Well

The kids here at English World are so cute and sweet. They really love feeding us teachers! Yesterday they gave me gum, and today I've been given oreos, yummy Korean peanut candy, and even yummier Korean cookies. These kids are absolute dolls!

This is day two (well, full day two) in Korea and I really like it. Gyeongju is a very neat city, the food is awesome, and the other teachers are all very friendly and easy to get along with. The students keep me in stitches. They all keep staring at me and giggling because I'm a foreigner. They are simply fascinated by the Miguki (American) teacher!

I really can't get over how good the food is. I never thought I would willingly eat anything that involved eggs and seaweed together, but it was yummy! The soup I had for lunch today was a very spicy version of Ramen noodles that included seaweed and egg, and it was great. Not only did it taste good, it also completely cleared my sinuses! Bonus! I also got to try a sushi made with seaweed, veggies, rice, and whitefish, which, much to my surprise, was also delicious. And as for radish pickles, where have they been all my life?! I am going to miss this food so much when I go home in a year!