Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Dilemma of the Hand

Today, after much coaxing from my mother and two of my medic friends, I went to the clinic at Liberty to have my hand looked at. Admittedly, I was growing concerned - my pinky still keeps going numb if I take the splint off, the hand is still swollen, the pain is still intense, and my hand is still various shades of blue and purple with pale fingers. When the nurse responded to the sight of my hand with a concerned/surprised "Oh," I became a bit more concerned. When the doctor had the exact same response, I knew nothing good was coming.

The general opinion of the learned medical community thus far is that the hand is most likely broken. I had figured that since my fingers still move correctly, everything was pretty much okay, but that does not seem to be the case. I'm going in for an x-ray tomorrow to find out for certain whether or not this is a break. If it is . . . I'm not letting myself think about that option, actually. I think I have enough things to fret about without sticking something scary like that on my "worry platter."

In happier news, I at least found a form of exercise that doesn't cause intense, eye-watering pain. For PT today, I was allowed to swim for the hour. The water felt quite good for my ankle, and only a little painful for my hand. So, I think I'm going to start swimming each day to try to get back on track for weight loss and getting into the correct physical shape. Hopefully, it will be enough.

For those who were wondering, yes, I am still doing the 5k on Saturday. I will be walking the course, however, instead of running it. The ankle is much better, but still not good enough to run long distances.

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"Passage—immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins! Away, O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
Cut the hawsers—haul out—shake out every sail!
Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
Have we not grovell’d here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
Have we not darken’d and dazed ourselves with books long enough?

Sail forth! steer for the deep waters only!
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee, and thou with me;
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go, And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

O my brave soul!
O farther, farther sail!
O daring joy, but safe! Are they not all the seas of God?
O farther, farther, farther sail!"

~Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"