Ice and snow-2, Stephanie-0

Tromp, tromp, tromp, whoooosh - "Aaaahhhh!" Splat! "Ouch!" Tromp, tromp, tr-"Ahhhh!" Thwack! Thud! "Ohhhhh . . ."

If this were an old-time radio program, those would be the sound effects for early this morning (about 4:45 am) when I went out to dig out my car so that I could make it to Liberty for my first PT test. As you may have already guessed, I now have an excellent excuse for still being at home, and missing my test.

It started out innocently enough, just as these things always do. I got up at 4:15 (the test is/was at 5:30), showered, dressed, then decided that it would be very wise to get Flavia dug out from her snowy captivity before having breakfast. After all, like the good little cadet that I am, I did not want to be late, even though I was dreading the test.

My apartment complex, unfortunately, does not shovel the steps to the side of the building, where my apartment is (this is not a complaint against them, just an explanation - most complexes wouldn't shovel that area). So, I began my morning escapade with a short trip down the steps. That was fine, actually - there is enough snow there that I just twisted my knee a little. I laughed at myself, then headed for the main sidewalk and . . . the patch of ice that I never saw. That would be the "whoooooosh". I did a grand little slide on the unseen ice, landing directly on my knees, on the sidewalk (which, by the way, had been shoveled). No snow cushion there, so my knees got nicely skinned up. Still, I felt safe continuing on my mission . . .

That's where the second "Ahhhh!" and the thwack come in. My left food got caught in one of the huge piles of snow surrounding my car, as I was using my brush to try to break the heavy snow and ice off of the windshield. I did a grand little pirouette, neatly twisting my bad ankle, then finished my routine by smacking my left hand into the mirror, and then hitting the ground. Had this been a 1920's slapstick film, it would have been very funny. I can well imagine Harold Lloyd or Buster Keaton doing the exact same thing that I did. The big difference, of course, is the finish. Either of them would have walked jauntily away, and then probably conclude by getting nearly hit by a train. I, on the other hand, was in too much pain to walk, so I did sort of a crawl all the way back up to my apartment.

Now let's go over the list of injuries from today, keeping in mind that the day is yet young, with plenty of time still for me to get hit by a falling anvil, or some other such additional delight. Now, apparently the fall down the steps was not completely injury-less: I think that is where I attained the bump on my left elbow. From the ice, I have two skinned up knees and a bump on my shin. From the grand finale, I have a twisted, swollen ankle and a very patriotic left hand. The back of my entire left hand is swollen, as well as red and blue. The injury which hurts and looks the worst, so far, is definitely the hand. It's positively a work of art! I'll have to take a picture later to show just how gorgeous this hand is.

I think I have earned the right to spend the morning back in bed.